I'm trying out this Blogger app that I have on my phone, maybe I will blog more now.
So, it's almost September & my emotions are running rampant. I'm really excited about Rylee's 1st birthday & her party, her bday pictures & possibly some more family pics too. However, when I think about what I was doing this time last year, (reflection is something I do too much) I can't help but dread thinking about the upcoming days. This time last year i was saying things like, "I just can't wait to have this baby," and "rylee, you can come out now. Please COME OUT NOW! " If I had known what was about to happen, maybe I wouldn't have been so eager to have her out. I'm not sure how I am going to be, emotionally, on her bday. It's going to be a celebration of life & miracles, proof that time goes so quickly & a reminder of one of the scariest times in my life. I just don't know how im going to deal with it. I hope I can put all my negative memories away & focus on my miracle, but i cry every time I think about that day. Still, even though things seem to be "working out" I cry EVERY time I think about how Rylee entered the world. I hate that. I should be all smiles when i think about her birth, but instead, i am all smiles...& glassy eyes.
Well, i have guessed only time will tell. Regardless of how Rylee's story started, i am so thankful that it did!
